One week old today and I have still not posted anything about their birth. Having babies in the NICU is way more difficult than I expected it to be. I knew that it would be hard emotionally, so I did my best to prepare myself for that very early on in this pregnancy. What I did not expect is how physically difficult it would be. The girls were born on Tuesday the 12th (I'll have to post their birth story later) and I went home on Thursday the 14th (Braysen's birthday). I had the option to stay until Saturday, but with a 3-year-old at home, I felt like I needed to be with him as well.
Prioritizing my time has been my biggest difficulty. To be honest, I'm exhausted. I know it's difficult to imagine: "How tired could you possibly be? You're not caring for two newborns around the clock!" Yet I am still up every two hours pumping so not only will those babies have milk while they're in the NICU, but also to boost my supply so I will have enough for two babies once they come home!
And so it goes day and night, my timer on my phone goes off every other hour reminding me to pump. During the day I try to juggle my time between between Braysen and the babies. It is not easy. The hospital is a 30-40 minute drive from home, so I usually pump just before I leave, then have to leave the NICU to pump, then have to pump shortly after I get home. It's crazy!
I feel really bad because I've had lots of friends call or text to check on me and I can't always get back to them right away. I can't use my phone in the NICU and when I'm at home I try to devote my time to Braysen. I promise I'm not ignoring you, I just have a lot going on right now and can't always respond right away!
Tony went back to work the day after the girls were born. We don't have the luxury of two incomes this time around, so he wasn't able to take time off like he did after Braysen was born.
My mom has been a godsend through all of this. She comes to my house daily, helps me pick up the house, does whatever dishes are in the sink, folds laundry, helps get Braysen ready, basically whatever needs to be done around the house. She drives me up to the hospital every day, even when that means she can't go in to see the babies because she has Braysen with her. She froze some meals for us to have easy dinners and has even cooked dinner or taken me to dinner on nights that Tony works. I quite honestly don't know how I'd be surviving right now if I didn't have her. Thanks a million mom!
Hang in there momma! I know my story doesn't compare with yours at all but I did have a baby who was in nicu for 5 day! It might seem a lot but they were the most stressful days of my life! He is my first so I can't imagine how you are trying to manage your time with your 3 yr old. I cried everytime I had to go home. My mom would tell me that it was ok to cry and to be upset. I hope your beautiful twins can go home soon!
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and praying a short stay for your babies. We are almost to the end of two and half month stay in the NICU. I AM SO READY TO BE HOME! Our NICU is two hours from our home so my husband and I have been living in two different cities, me here and him back home so he can work. Its exhausting. I have a lot of respect for you doing it with another child at home. I can only imagine how hard that is. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I am sure it has to be way harder than having them home with you and the hospital being so far away. goodness. I will say a prayer for you, your sanity and those sweet girls. My twins did not have a NICU stay, but I know what that pumping/taking care of a toddler schedule can do to you. Silly question, but do you have a hands free pumping bra? That allowed me to do so much more while I was pumping to feed two. You are amazing. Keep your chin up and your spirits as high as they can go. Thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds exactly how our days were after the girls were here. Juggling time between them and our son (I always felt like I needed to be somewhere else wherever I was). And our NICU was also about 30-40 minutes away so scheduling pumping and not getting there at shift change and such things was always a priority. You are doing great, momma!
ReplyDeleteOh friend. This is exactly how I felt with a two-year-old at home and twins in the NICU. It was hard, hard, hard!!! I am thinking of you!!!!
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